5 Tips On Conflict Management

This month’s blog reminds us of the movie “You’ve Got Mail”, where Meg Ryan asks Tom Hanks what to do about the big box store that is threatening to close down her small family-owned bookstore. Hanks tells Ryan to “go to the mattresses”, which is a quote from the movie The Godfather and signifies encouragement to fight for what you want and need. This month’s blog asks you to be thoughtful and save the “fight” for the issues that are nonnegotiable, like saving the family business for example.

No matter where you work or what you do, conflict between coworkers can always arise. People from different backgrounds, with different ideas, who spend a significant amount of time together, are bound to run into a disagreement sooner or later. If workplace issues are not effectively resolved, they can linger on and disrupt future work and working relationships. Katie Shonk from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School published "5 Conflict Resolution Strategies" to implement for the occasional disagreement.

1. Recognize that all of us have biased fairness perceptions.

It makes sense that the very first step is to remember our own implicit biases. It can be difficult to think about the situation differently if you don’t remind yourself of why you may think differently than the other individual involved. This helps us to remove ourselves from the situation, and think about it from a perspective other than our own.

2. Avoid escalating tensions with threats and provocative moves.

Shonk describes how attention-getting moves like take-it-or-leave-it offers are a big mistake. They are a mistake because the natural human tendency is to treat others how they treat us. So you are likely to get the same kind of treatment in return, only escalating the issue.

3. Overcome an "us versus them” mentality.

Just like in high school, cliques may exist in the workplace. However, they may be more of a perception than a reality. Try to overcome the tendency to completely separate yourself from the “other side” by finding something you all have in common. You can even talk about the similarities between the two of you, lowering the level of tension.

4. Look beneath the surface to identify deeper issues.

Maybe the problem isn’t really that you’re taking up too much space in the staff refrigerator; maybe the underlying issue is that the person who doesn’t have as much space feels like they are being overlooked or ignored. Pay attention to potential root causes and try to think of ways to address them.

5. Separate sacred from pseudo-sacred issues.

We often think that some issues are simply nonnegotiable. Harvard Business School professor Max H. Bazerman notes that some issues are pseudo-sacred, meaning they are only off-limits under certain conditions. If you can find a suitable compromise, then the once sacred issue can more readily be resolved.

The next time you find the urge to engage in a workplace disagreement, no matter how small, think back to these quick conflict resolution tips. Although they may be simple, the reminder can make a big difference, especially in the heat of the moment. Resolving a conflict can make a huge impact on not only the people involved, but your organization as well!

5 Conflict Resolution Strategies Article